Remembering
by Sage Girl
Summary: After the death's of Joyce and Buffy, Dawn goes to visit their gravestones...


Disclaimer: I don't own 'em! Joss does! "There you'll be" Also doesn't belong to me, it   
belongs to Faith Hill, or somebody!   
Rating: PG  
Spoilers: Fifth Season, "The Gift"  
Author's Note: In my own personal opinion there are WAY to many fic's about how   
Spike felt after Buffy's death…So I decided a fic with how Dawn feels would be   
something different.  
  
  
  
It was mid-day when the girl walked into the graveyard, dark hair falling in her eyes and   
mis-happened. But none of this seemed to bother her, with flowers resting in the crook of   
her arm she made it hastily towards two specific graves. Kneeling by the first she traced   
the words written on the stone, though she wouldn't cry. Her emotions were past the   
crying level.  
  
"I still miss you everyday, sometimes its hard to wake up and know your not there for   
me." She told the grave, her eyes hazy as she set the flowers on the grass in front of the   
headstone. The black silk dress she wore rumpled slightly when she repositioned herself   
on the grass.  
"We've been better, I think Angel might be the worst. He doesn't show anybody, but I   
heard him once, before they shooed me off to bed, he was crying." She paused, "I never   
thought I'd hear that. I mean, I saw Spike crying, everybody else was too. It's been 6   
months, and every time Angel comes back, I hear him cry. He's so tough, I thought he'd   
get through this." She sighed, the words to a song faintly playing in her mind.  
  
IWhen I think back on these times  
And the dreams we left behind  
I'll be glad 'coz I was blessed to get to have you in my life  
When I look back on these days  
I'll look and see your face  
You were right there for me/I  
  
"Just when you think that things are going to calm down, things happen." She continued,   
"They don't think I understand because I'm younger than them. I do, I understand." She   
sniffled, placing the flowers down with the rest that were wilting.  
"See you next week, same time?" She asked the grave like it was going to answer her.   
She kissed the tips of her fingers, placing them on the gravestone before she stood,   
dusting off her dress, and clutching the flowers left tighter. She walked away from the   
grave slowly, her gaze on the ground. It always bothered those hidden emotions to come   
here, but she did. Out of respect, out of loneliness, who knows…  
  
IIn my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky  
In my hear they'll always be a place for you, for all my life  
I'll keep a part of you with me  
And everywhere I am there you'll be  
Everywhere I am there you'll be/I  
  
She didn't have to walk very far until she reached the second grave, with it's inscription   
'She saved the world a lot.' Written on it. It was the most heart-wrenching thing to read,   
they hadn't put something like 'Dear sister and daughter' no, the Scoobies thought it only   
honorable to have that inscription. It wasn't poetic, but it was true.   
"Hey Buff," She whispered, "Weekly update of what's happening…even though you're   
not really down there." She said, resting a hand on the grass. She toyed with the plastic   
wrapped around the flowers.  
"Xander and Anya are planning their wedding, though Xander gets all sad and stuff   
when he realizes your not going to be there. Willow and Tara are the same, as ever,   
though Willow makes frequent visits to LA to check on Angel, he's not dealing so well,   
he even comes to visit your grave and check up on me. Even though Giles is doing a fair   
enough job on his own to watch over me."  
  
She resituated herself on the grass, pushing her hair from her eyes again.  
"It was kinda funny last time he came, Spike and him fought about who could protect me   
more easily…it almost got bad until Willow made them both shut up." Despite herself a   
tiny giggle escaped, "They looked like the kids who sit at the back of the class and finally   
get themselves reprimanded for throwing spitballs…It made me feel, I dunno, like people   
actually cared about me. Besides you and Mom, because, well, your not here." She   
sighed again, her mood having gone slightly down hill again.  
  
"The kids at school finally stopped thinking I was freak, It only took them like, what? 2   
months, but I have some friends my age again. So life is good, sorta." It seemed she just   
kept rattling things off, like the gravestone was actually listening. But when you loose   
most of your family, you have to feel like you can still talk to them somehow.  
  
IWell you showed me how it feels  
To feel the sky within my reach  
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me  
Your love made me make it through  
I owe so much to you  
You were right there for me/I  
  
"Angel misses you, maybe you can see that from wherever you are. But he does, I never   
thought I'd see a vampire cry –that was shattered when you died-, but Angel cries, big,   
strong, protecter Angel." She sniffled, trying hard not to cry herself, "He doesn't let   
anybody know how bad he's hurt, but everybody can sense it. I mean, you were the only   
person that made him, well…evil. That's got to mean something, right?" She smiled   
slightly, "Teenager common sense. I sound like an idiot."   
  
"Anyway, everybody seems to be going on with their lives, except when something   
reminds one of them of you. Willow found Mr. Gordo a week ago -we were cleaning   
your room up a little bit- she just burst into tears and started babbling about how much   
she missed you. It made me cry to. I let her have him, I hope you don't mind." The tears   
were now threatening to fall, brimming at the rims of her eyes.  
"Giles and I have been getting along, but when I do get angry I hide out at Spike's. I   
think you'd agree that he's not so bad anymore, him and Giles really watch out for me.   
They both freaked when I brought a date home –They were discussing slaying, or   
something when I did. - My date told me later that my father and brother were very odd.   
He also told me that I didn't look like either of them. He couldn't understand why I   
couldn't stop laughing."   
  
IIn my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky  
In my heart they'll always be a place for you, for all my life  
I'll keep a part of you with me  
And everywhere I am there you'll be  
Everywhere I am there you'll be/I  
  
"Yeah Buffy, your little sister is dating –after much begging on my part- Although most   
of the guys I've dated are jerks- oh the joys of teenage guys" She laughed, her mood   
lightening slightly.   
"Guess you were the lucky one, getting Angel. Of course, Parker was slime. But you   
were only human." She continued.  
"Oh, another thing you'll find WAY amusing, Cassi has a crush on Spike, how bizarre is   
that? I made the mistake of bringing her over one night," She paused, "And bam! She's   
all big puppy dog eyes over him, he's been real sweet about it though. Of course, it grinds   
on his nerves that she calls him William –my fault, she asked what his real name was-."   
She plucked at one of the flowers absently.  
  
I'Coz I always saw you in my light, my strength  
And I want to thank you now for all the ways you were right there for me  
You were right there for me always/I  
  
"Oh! Did I tell you? Giles found himself a girlfriend, her names Josephine. She's   
awesome, she took me shopping…of course, it's not the same when I can't fight with   
somebody over what I want. But it was fun, she's not even freaked out over what goes on   
in our lives, not like Olivia." She gushed, her eyes sparkling, "She was on my side over   
the dating thing." She smiled a little, "She's no replacement for Mom, but, it's nice to   
have her around…I keep telling Giles he needs to get her a ring…Of course, then he   
makes me alphabetize the books at the Magick Shop. I don't care though, it's not that   
bad." She absently toyed with the strap of her dress, wondering if she'd end up sunburned   
from this visit.  
"I convinced him to let me make a little memorial in the dining room, it's got pictures of   
you, mom, and even though he doesn't realize it –probably because he never looks at it-   
there's a picture of Jenny. Pretty sneaky, huh? Of course, if he ever found the picture, I'd   
probably end up doing a lot more than organizing bookshelves." Her expression grew   
somber; the reminder about how dangerous her life was, even without a Slayer present.  
  
IIn my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky  
In my heart they'll always be a place for you, for all my life  
I'll keep a part of you with me  
And everywhere I am there you'll be  
And everywhere I am there you'll be/I  
  
"I better wrap this up, I'm supposed to meet Willow in 20 minutes, and she'll ask way to   
many questions if she realizes I've been crying." She continued, wiping fiercely at her   
eyes, "And I really don't wanna tell her I've been talkin' to gravestones again…They   
think I've finally quit doin' that. I come after school, telling Giles I have a meeting of   
some sort, he doesn't realize it's not true. I feel bad for lying to him, but, well, I miss   
you…and this is the only way to talk to you and Mom." She sniffled, biting her lip, "Well   
Buffy, That's all I can think of to say, better leave if I wanna get to her dorm in 20   
minutes." She stood, reading the inscription again, and taking a deep breath.  
"Bye." She turned, walking slowly away from the graves and out of the cemetery. Head   
held high, like nothing was wrong, when really, her world had been shattered. And was   
just now putting itself back together.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
